We all have an inborn capacity to love and care for others, we deeply value our roles as mothers, daughters, co-workers, leaders, wives, sisters, and friends. But when we think about showing ourselves the same kind of love and care, why does it end up feeling wrong? Have you ever been on a guilt trip for spending on yourself or for eating that last slice of leftover cake or for putting your needs before others? Well you’re not alone and there’s nothing to feel guilty about. We undervalue ourselves in the endless pursuit of wanting to be and do more for others, but doesn’t it all begin with loving and valuing our self?
Self-love doesn’t mean me first, it means me too.
Self-love is the feeling of love and appreciation for our self. Then what’s self-care? Self-care is the act of self-love; it’s the doing of things to take care of yourself. When you truly love yourself, you can feel it on the inside. The kind that fills you with strength, confidence and the compassion to show up as your best version for those around you and in the things that you do. And when your inner self is constantly filled with your love, it runs over into everything else that you do. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship.
But doesn’t self-love come with a heavy price? Not really! There’s a misconception that self-love and self-care have to cost a fortune. Bath bombs, spa sessions and getaways are all incredible ways to love yourself and we all need that sometime. Self-love as a practice is beyond these simple pleasures; it’s a feeling that arises from actions that are backed up by both love and acceptance of our self and by embracing our story.
Here are some ideas of what self-love may look and feel like:
- Not comparing yourself to others.
- Owning all parts of your story and current season of life.
- Surrounding yourself with people who bring out the best in you.
- Saying no to things that are toxic.
- Taking care of yourself, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
- Doing more of the things that spark joy in you.
- Embracing the fact that you can’t control everything.
- Celebrating the small wins.
Which ones resonate with you? What would add to your self-love list? Learning to love yourself and practicing self-love should be set as priorities in our schedules. Just like everything else, self-love takes time and effort and we just keep getting better at it.